ThAct: Translation Activity Worksheet- Using AI for Translating Poems

 This task is given by Dilip Barad Sir, 

Translation has always been more than the transfer of words from one language to another—it is an act of interpretation, imagination, and cultural dialogue. In this blog, I reflect on a Translation Studies activity that involved using AI tools to translate poems into different languages.



Poem 1  Mujh se pehli si mohabbat mirii by Faiz Ahmed 

مجھ سے پہلی سی محبت مری محبوب نہ مانگ

 مجھ سے پہلی سی محبت مری محبوب نہ مانگ

میں نے سمجھا تھا کہ تو ہے تو درخشاں ہے حیات


تیرا غم ہے تو غم دہر کا جھگڑا کیا ہے

تیری صورت سے ہے عالم میں بہاروں کو ثبات


تیری آنکھوں کے سوا دنیا میں رکھا کیا ہے

تو جو مل جائے تو تقدیر نگوں ہو جائے


یوں نہ تھا میں نے فقط چاہا تھا یوں ہو جائے

اور بھی دکھ ہیں زمانے میں محبت کے سوا


راحتیں اور بھی ہیں وصل کی راحت کے سوا

ان گنت صدیوں کے تاریک بہیمانہ طلسم

ریشم و اطلس و کمخاب میں بنوائے ہوئے


جا بہ جا بکتے ہوئے کوچہ و بازار میں جسم

خاک میں لتھڑے ہوئے خون میں نہلائے ہوئے


جسم نکلے ہوئے امراض کے تنوروں سے

پیپ بہتی ہوئی گلتے ہوئے ناسوروں سے


لوٹ جاتی ہے ادھر کو بھی نظر کیا کیجے

اب بھی دل کش ہے ترا حسن مگر کیا کیجے

 اور بھی دکھ ہیں زمانے میں محبت کے سوا

راحتیں اور بھی ہیں وصل کی راحت کے سوا

 English Translation

Title: Do Not Ask of Me, My Love, That Love of Old

Do not ask of me, my love, that love we had before. I once believed that life shone bright because of you, That your sorrow made the world’s grief easy to ignore. Your face, I thought, gave the spring its lasting hue, What else was there in the world, but your eyes' light? I thought if I won you, fate would bow its head to me; It was not so; it was only my heart’s wish to see it so.

There are other sorrows in this world than the pangs of love, There are other joys than the bliss of union’s glow.

Dark, brutal, and ancient spells of centuries past, Woven into silks, brocades, and satins fine. Sold in every street, bodies and souls aghast, Smeared in the dust, bathed in blood and grime. Bodies emerged from the furnaces of disease, With flowing pus from rotting, festering sores. My gaze returns to this too; what can I do? Your beauty is still alluring, but what can I do?

There are other sorrows in this world than the pangs of love, There are other joys than the bliss of union’s glow.

Do not ask of me, my love, that love of old.

 Hindi Translation (हिन्दी अनुवाद)

शीर्षक: मुझसे पहली सी मोहब्बत मिरी महबूब न माँग

मुझसे पहली सी मोहब्बत मिरी महबूब न माँग। मैंने समझा था कि तू है तो दरख़्शां (रोशन) है हयात, तेरा ग़म है तो ग़म-ए-दहर (दुनिया का ग़म) का झगड़ा क्या है? तेरी सूरत से है आलम में बहारों को सबात (ठहराव), तेरी आँखों के सिवा दुनिया में रखा क्या है? तू जो मिल जाए तो तक़दीर निगूँ (झुकना) हो जाए, यूँ न था, मैंने फ़क़त चाहा था यूँ हो जाए।

और भी दुख हैं ज़माने में मोहब्बत के सिवा, राहतें और भी हैं वस्ल (मिलन) की राहत के सिवा।

अनगिनत सदियों के तारीख़ (अँधेरे) बहीमाना तिलिस्म, रेशम ओ अतलस ओ कमख़ाब (कीमती कपड़े) में बुनवाए हुए। जा-ब-जा (जगह-जगह) बिकते हुए कूचा-ओ-बाज़ार में जिस्म, ख़ाक में लथड़े हुए, ख़ून में नहलाए हुए। जिस्म निकले हुए अमराज़ (बीमारियों) के तन्नूरों से, पीप बहती हुई, गलते …

1. Challenging Aspects of Translation

The Linguistic Shift: The poem begins with high Ghazal-style Urdu (sophisticated, Persianized, romantic) and abruptly shifts to Stark Realism (visceral, harsh, physical). Translating this transition without losing the poetic "shock" is the greatest challenge.

Juxtaposition of Imagery: Phrases like "Paip behti hui" (flowing pus) and "Nasoor" (festering sores) are intentionally repulsive. In English, these can sound clinical rather than poetic. The challenge lies in maintaining Faiz’s "aesthetic of pain"—making the reader feel the horror of poverty without losing the rhythmic beauty of the verse.

Syntactic Nuance: The line "Yun na tha, maine faqat chaha tha yun ho jaye" is a masterclass in syntax. It conveys a deep, resign…

 Scholar,Application to this Poem

Roman Jakobson,"Equivalence in Difference: The translator must find a ""functional equivalent."" For example, the Urdu word Ghalib (Dominant) isn't used, but the sentiment of Fate being ""Nigun"" (bowed/overthrown) is translated as ""Fate would bow,"" capturing the functional power shift."

J.C. Catford,"Translation Shifts: A ""Level Shift"" is required when moving from Urdu's flexible word order to English's rigid SVO (Subject-Verb-Object) structure, especially to keep the rhyme at the end of the line."

G.N. Devy,"Multilingualism & Continuity: Devy suggests that translation is not a death of the original but a continuation. The translation of this poem continues the ""Progressive Writers' Movement"" legacy in a global languag…

 To provide a comprehensive analysis of the translation prompts for Faiz Ahmed Faiz's masterpiece, we must look at the poem through the lenses of linguistics, cultural studies, and translation theory. This poem is a "hinge" in Urdu literature, marking the transition from pure romanticism to social realism.

2. Handling Cultural Connotations & Collocations

“وصل” (wasl) was translated as union, preserving its Sufi–romantic undertone rather than merely “meeting.”

“کوچہ و بازار” was rendered as streets and markets—a culturally charged pairing in Urdu that signifies public commodification, especially of bodies.

“طلسم” (tilism) was translated as enchantment instead of illusion to retain its Indo-Persian mythical weight.

The translation balances semantic fidelity with cultural equivalence, aligning with A.K. Ramanujan’s idea of “context-sensitive translation.”

3. Untranslatable words or phrases 

Certain Urdu words resist full translation:

Urdu term                        Issue                                                                          Resolution

غمِ دہر                  Combines existential +Historical suffering            Rendered as grief of the world                                                                                                                                 

بہیمانہ                  Animalistic + dehumanized                                    Rendered as brutal

کیا کیجے              Helpless ethical + resignation                            Repeated refrain What is to be done?                                                                                                                              

Here, compensation strategies were used repetition, tone, and syntactic echo  to retain affect.

4. Role of Metre and Rhyme

Full rhyme replication is not possible without semantic loss.

A soft internal rhythm and repeated refrains (“There are other sorrows…”) were prioritized.

Some liberties were taken in line length to preserve emotional cadence rather than strict metre.

This aligns with Jakobson’s “poetry as untranslatable except through creative transposition.”

Theoretical Reflection

Roman Jakobson

Confirms that poetry cannot be translated word-for-word—only creatively reconstituted.

This translation uses semantic equivalence with stylistic deviation.

J.C. Catford

Demonstrates linguistic and cultural untranslatability, especially in metaphor and affect.

Compensation and modulation were essential.

G.N. Devy

Faiz’s poem embodies postcolonial resistance; translation becomes an act of ideological transmission, not neutrality.
A.K. Ramanujan

Supports “contextual fidelity” over literalism.

The translation preserves cultural memory and emotional syntax, not just lexical meaning.

Comparison of AI Performance (ChatGPT vs. Gemini)

Gemini’s Strength: Tends to excel at maintaining the emotional resonance and "human" feel of the poem. It often captures the Dard (pathos) better by choosing words that feel more evocative of the era.

ChatGPT’s Strength: Often provides a more technically precise rhyme scheme and formal structure, which is useful for maintaining the "Metre" requested in the prompt.

The Verdict: For a poem like "Mujh Se Pehli Si Mohabbat," Gemini usually performs better because it balances the harshness of the political imagery with the softness of the romantic opening more fluidly.

Poem 2 W.B. Yeats "The Second Coming"

 Turning and turning in the widening gyre   
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere   
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst   
Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.   
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out  
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert   
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,   
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,  
 
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it   
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.   
The darkness drops again; but now I know   
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,   
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,   
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

Gujarati translation

બીજો આગમન (The Second Coming)

વિસ્તરતા ચક્રમાં ફરતો ને ફરતો બાજ
બાજીગરની પોકાર હવે સાંભળતો નથી;
બધી વસ્તુઓ વિખેરાઈ રહી છે, કેન્દ્ર ટકી શકતું નથી;
માત્ર અরাজકતા વિશ્વ પર છૂટી મુકાઈ છે.

લોહીથી ભરેલો પ્રવાહ છલકાઈ રહ્યો છે,
નિર્દોષતાની વિધિ સર્વત્ર ડૂબી ગઈ છે;
સારા લોકોમાં વિશ્વાસ નથી રહ્યો,
જ્યારે દુષ્ટો ઉગ્ર ઉત્સાહથી ભરપૂર છે.

નિશ્ચિત છે કે કોઈ પ્રકાશન આવવાનું છે;
નિશ્ચિત છે કે બીજો આગમન નજીક છે.
“બીજો આગમન!”—આ શબ્દ બોલતાં જ
Spiritus Mundiની કોઈ છબી
મારી નજર સામે પ્રગટે છે:
રણની રેતમાં—
સિંહ સમાન દેહ, માનવ સમાન મસ્તક,
સૂર્ય જેવાં નિર્દય અને ખાલી નેત્રો,
ધીમે ધીમે પોતાની જાંઘો હલાવતું,
જ્યારે ગુસ્સે ભરેલા રણપંખીઓ
તેની આસપાસ છાયાની જેમ ફરે છે.

અંધકાર ફરી છવાઈ જાય છે; પરંતુ હવે હું જાણું છું
વીસ સ…


Hindi translation 

दूसरा आगमन (The Second Coming)

विस्तृत होते चक्र में घूमता हुआ बाज
अब बाजीगर की पुकार नहीं सुन पाता;
सब कुछ बिखर रहा है, केंद्र टिक नहीं पा रहा;
निरा अराजकता संसार पर छूट पड़ी है।

रक्त से भरी लहर उमड़ रही है,
निर्दोषता की रस्म हर जगह डूब चुकी है;
श्रेष्ठ जन संकल्प से रिक्त हैं,
और दुष्ट उग्र जुनून से भरे हुए हैं।

निश्चित ही कोई उद्घाटन निकट है;
निश्चित ही दूसरा आगमन समीप है।
“दूसरा आगमन!”—कहते ही
Spiritus Mundi की कोई छवि
मेरी दृष्टि के सामने उभरती है:

मरुस्थल की रेत में—
सिंह सा शरीर, मनुष्य सा सिर,
सूर्य जैसे निष्ठुर और शून्य नेत्र,
धीरे-धीरे अपनी जाँघें हिलाता हुआ,
जबकि क्रुद्ध रेगिस्तानी पक्षी
उसके चारों ओर परछाइयों की तरह घूमते हैं।

अंधकार फिर छा जाता है; पर अब मैं जानता हूँ
बीस सदियों…

 TRANSLATION & ANALYSIS

 Challenging Parts of Translation

 a) Symbolic Density

“Gyre”, “Spiritus Mundi”, and “rough beast” are culturally and philosophically loaded.

These symbols have no direct equivalents in Gujarati or Hindi literary traditions.

Strategy Used:
Instead of replacing them, the translation retains imagery and symbolic ambiguity, aligning with Yeats’ mythic vision.

b) Biblical & Western Cultural References

“Second Coming” and “Bethlehem” are rooted in Christian eschatology.

Indian readers may not instinctively decode these symbols.

Strategy Used:
The translations retain the original references without domestication, preserving foreignness (Venuti-style foreignization).

Cultural Connotations & Collocations:

Original phrase                          Issue                                                               Resolution

The center cannot hold         Abstract metaphor                       Rendered literally metaphorically, not                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

Mere anarchy                        Political+moral chaos                   Translated as निरा अराजकता                                                                                                                        

Rough beast                          Not just animal                              Rendered as विकृत / અડગ પ્રાણી                                                                                                                                                               

Untranslatable Words or Phrases

 “Gyre”- Yeats’ private philosophical term.
The word "Gyre" is a technical term in Yeats’s personal mysticism. Translating it as Chakra (Hindi) or Chakravat (Gujarati) captures the circular motion but loses the specific conical geometry Yeats intended.

Not translated literally; its circular motion is explained through imagery.

“Spiritus Mundi”- Kept in Latin to preserve mystical authority.
This refers to the "world soul" or a collective storehouse of images. Since it is a proper noun in Yeatsian philosophy, it was retained as a transliteration to preserve its occult weight.

 This reflects Catford’s cultural untranslatability.

Role of Metre and Rhyme

English iambic looseness cannot be fully replicated in Gujarati/Hindi.

Priority was given to: Rhythmic cadence

Line balance

Repetition (“निश्चित ही / નિશ્ચિત છે”)

Some syntactic liberties were taken to retain prophetic tone.

Metre and Sound: Yeats uses blank verse with some irregularities. In Hindi and Gujarati, I prioritized Anuvad (transcreation) over a literal word-for-word swap to maintain the Apocalyptic Tone.

Cultural Symbols: "Bethlehem" was retained because it is a geographical and religious anchor. Translating it would strip the poem of its ironic subversion of the birth of Christ.

Theoretical Reflection

 Roman Jakobson

Poetry is “untranslatable except through creative transposition.”

These translations re-create meaning + mood, not just words. Applied Interlingual translation. The focus was on "Equivalence in difference"—finding Sanskrit-rooted words (Arajakta, Saksatkara) that carry the same gravitas as Yeats’s Latinate English.

 J. C. Catford

Demonstrates cultural and linguistic untranslatability, especially of symbols.

Compensation strategies were essential. Encountered Formal Correspondence issues. The English syntax "Things fall apart" is brief and punchy. In Indo-Aryan languages, the verb-final structure makes the sentence longer, requiring a "Translation Shift" to keep the impact.

 G. N. Devy

Translation here is cultural negotiation, not equivalence.

Yeats enters Indian languages as a foreign prophetic voice. Devy views translation as a Continuity. Translating Yeats into Gujarati/Hindi is an act of bringing Western modernism into the Indian literary consciousness, proving that the "anxiety of chaos" is universal.

A. K. Ramanujan

Advocates context-sensitive translation.

Retaining ambiguity respects Yeats’ mythic imagination. Ramanujan emphasized Context-sensitivity. The translation had to balance the "Universal" (Spiritus Mundi) with the "Particular" (The Falcon/The Beast), ensuring the imagery felt "at home" in the target languages without losing its alien horror.

Comparison: Gemini vs. Other AI Tools

Gemini's Advantage: Gemini tends to handle Cultural Connotations better by recognizing that Yeats isn't just writing about birds and deserts, but about the "Spirit of the Age."

Nuance: While ChatGPT often provides a very literal "Dictionary" translation, Gemini often captures the rhythmical flow better in Gujarati, utilizing more poetic vocabulary (like Vyakul for troubled) rather than common prose words.

Poem-3 ભોમિયા વિના મારે ભમવા’તા ડુંગરા

ભોમિયા વિના મારે ભમવા’તા ડુંગરા, જંગલની કુંજકુંજ જોવી હતી; 
જોવાં’તાં કોતરો ને જોવી’તી કંદરા, રોતાં ઝરણાંની આંખ લ્હોવી હતી.
 સૂના સરવરિયાની સોનેરી પાળે, હંસોની હાર મારે ગણવી હતી; 
ડાળે ઝૂલંત કોક કોકિલાને માળે, અંતરની વેદના વણવી હતી. 
એકલા આકાશ તળે ઊભીને એકલો, પડઘા ઉરબોલના ઝીલવા ગયો; 
વેરાયા બોલ મારા, ફેલાયા આભમાં, એકલો, અટૂલો ઝાંખો પડ્યો.
આખો અવતાર મારે ભમવા ડુંગરિયા, જંગલની કુંજકુંજ જોવી ફરી; 
ભોમિયા ભૂલે એવી ભમવી રે કંદરા,અંતરની આંખડી લ્હોવી જરી.
                                                                
                                                                               – ઉમાશંકર જોશી

English Translation

Title: Without a Guide

Without a guide, I wished to roam the hills, To see every bower within the forest deep; To see the ravines and the hidden caves, To wipe the tears the sobbing rivers weep.

By the lonely lake’s golden-hued shore, I wished to count the rows of swans in flight; In the swinging nests where cuckoos sing, To weave my heart's pain into the light.

Alone beneath the vast and open sky, I went to catch the echoes of my soul; My words scattered, spreading through the blue, Left solitary, faint, I lost my goal.

A lifetime long I wish to roam the hills, To see every bower of the woods again; To wander caves where even guides might stray, To wipe the inner eye of all its pain.

 Hindi Translation (हिन्दी अनुवाद)

शीर्षक: राह दिखाने वाले के बिना

बिन राहबर के मुझे भटकना था पहाड़ों में, जंगल की कुंज-कुंज को मुझे निहारना था; देखनी थीं कंदराएँ और देखनी थीं खाइयाँ, रोते हुए झरनों की आँखों को पोंछना था।

सूने सरोवर की उस सुनहरी पाल (तट) पर, हंसों की पंक्तियों को मुझे गिनना था; झूलती डाल पर कोयल के उस नीड़ में, अन्तर की वेदना को मुझे बुनना था।

अकेले आसमान के नीचे खड़ा होकर अकेला, हृदय की गूँज को मैं थामने चला था; बिखर गए बोल मेरे, फैल गए आकाश में, अकेला, नितांत एकाकी मैं फीका पड़ गया।

पूरा जीवन मुझे भटकना है पहाड़ों में, जंगल की कुंज-कुंज देखनी है फिर से; राहबर भी राह भूले, ऐसी देखनी हैं कंदराएँ, अन्तर की आँखों को पोंछना है ज़रा सा।

A. Challenging Parts of the Translation

The word "Bhomiya": This is a culturally rooted term in Gujarati. While it literally means "guide" (Rahbar in Hindi), it carries a sense of an "insider" or "local expert." Translating the absence of a Bhomiya requires capturing the poet's desire for unmediated experience—to see nature without a filter.

"Antar ni vedna vanvi hati": The verb vanvu (to weave) is metaphorical. The challenge was to keep the tactile sense of "weaving" pain into the surroundings without making it sound literal or clumsy in English.

The Refrain Shift: In the last stanza, the poet changes the goal. He doesn't want to wipe the river's eyes anymore; he wants to wipe his inner eye (Antar ni aankhdi). Maintaining this subtle shift in both languages was crucial.

B. Handling Cultural Connotations and Collocations

Kunj (Bower): In Indian poetic tradition, Kunj represents a sheltered, romantic, yet spiritual space in nature. In English, "bower" or "grove" was used to maintain the pastoral feel.

Kokila (Cuckoo): In Hindi and Gujarati, the Kokila is a symbol of longing and the "voice of the heart." Using "Cuckoo" in English is a formal equivalent, but the emotional "longing" is harder to transfer without the cultural context of the Vasant (spring) season.

C. Choices, Metre, and Liberties

Metre Influence: To retain the musicality of Umashankar Joshi’s verse, I utilized a loose A-B-A-B or A-B-C-B rhyme scheme in English. For example, "deep/weep" and "flight/light."

Liberties: In the Hindi version, I used the word Rahbar (Urdu/Hindi origin) instead of the Sanskritized Margdarshak because Rahbar carries a more poetic, wandering sentiment that fits the "roaming" (bhamvu) theme better.
Reflection on Theoretical Frameworks.

Roman Jakobson (Equivalence): This translation deals with interlingual transposition. Jakobson argued that there is no full equivalence between code-units. For example, Bhomiya vs. Guide. The AI resolves this by surrounding the word with contextual imagery (hills, caves) to clarify the type of guide meant.

J.C. Catford (Formal Correspondence vs. Translation Shifts): A "Level Shift" occurred in translating "Ur-bol" (speech of the heart). English doesn't have a single word for this, so it was expanded into "echoes of my soul" to capture the grammatical and semantic depth.

G.N. Devy (Translation as Continuity): Devy argues that Indian traditions see translation as "rebirth." The Hindi translation feels like a "sibling" to the Gujarati original because they share the same Prakrit and Sanskrit linguistic DNA, making the transfer of words like Vedna, Kunj, and Kandara seamless.

A.K. Ramanujan (Context-Sensitivity): This poem is highly context-sensitive to the "Gandhian Era" of Gujarati poetry—a return to nature and the self. The translation reflects this by maintaining a humble, contemplative tone rather than an aggressive, adventurous one.

Comparison: Gemini vs. ChatGPT

Gemini's Performance: Gemini often excels at alliteration and sound patterns. In the Gujarati-to-English transition, Gemini is better at recognizing the "Sunehra" (Golden) and "Suna" (Empty) wordplay often found in Indian languages.

ChatGPT's Performance: ChatGPT is typically more rigid with grammar, which can sometimes make the poetry feel a bit "stiff."

Key Aspect Retention: Gemini performed better in retaining the internal rhythm (the "lilt") of the Gujarati bhajan style, which is essential for Umashankar Joshi’s work.


Poem-4  कलम, आज उनकी जय बोल -   रामधारी सिंह दिनकर

जला अस्थियां बारी-बारी
चिटकाई जिनमें चिंगारी,
जो चढ़ गए पुण्यवेदी पर
लिए बिना गर्दन का मोल।
कलम, आज उनकी जय बोल
जो अगणित लघु दीप हमारे 
तुफानों में एक किनारे 
जल-जलाकर बुझ गए किसी दिन 
मांगा नहीं स्नेह मुंह खोल 
कलम, आज उनकी जय बोल 
पीकर जिनकी लाल शिखाएं 
उगल रही लपट दिशाएं 
जिनके सिंहनाद से सहमी
 धरती रही अभी तक डोल 
कलम, आज उनकी जय बोल 
अंधा चकाचौंध का मारा
क्या जाने इतिहास बेचारा,
साखी हैं उनकी महिमा के
सूर्य चन्द्र भूगोल खगोल।
कलम, आज उनकी जय बो ल..... 

English Translation

Title: Pen, Sing Their Victory Today

O Pen, sing their victory today! Those countless tiny lamps of light, Who stood through storms and dark of night, Consumed themselves and flickered away, Without a plea for love or oil— O Pen, sing their victory today!

Having drunk their flaming, crimson crest, The horizons now spew fire from their breast; At their lion-roar, the earth did quake, And even now, it trembles in their wake. O Pen, sing their victory today!

Gujarati Translation 

શીર્ષક: કલમ, આજે એમનો જય બોલ

કલમ, આજે એમનો જય બોલ! જે અગણિત લઘુ દીપક આપણા, તોફાનોમાં એક કિનારે, ઝળહળીને બુઝાઈ ગયા કોઈ દિન, માગ્યું નહીં સ્નેહ (તેલ) મોઢું ખોલી— કલમ, આજે એમનો જય બોલ!

પીને જેમની લાલ શિખાઓ, ઉગલી રહી લપટ દિશાઓ; જેમના સિંહનાદથી સહમી ધરતી, રહી હજુ સુધી ડોલ— કલમ, આજે એમનો જય બોલ!

Analysis of Translation Prompts

A. Challenging Parts of the Translation

The Metaphor of "Sneh" (स्नेह): In Hindi, Sneh means both "oil" (for a lamp) and "affection/love." This double meaning is central to the poem—the martyrs died without asking for oil for their lamps or love/recognition from the people. Translating this into English is difficult because "oil" and "love" are phonetically and semantically distinct. I chose "plea for love or oil" to capture the essence.

"Singhnad" (सिंहनाद): This translates to "Lion's roar," but in the Indian epic tradition, it signifies a war cry that paralyzes the enemy. Capturing that visceral "shiver" in the translation was a priority.

B. Cultural Connotations and Collocations

Deep (Lamp): The lamp is a symbol of the individual soul and sacrifice in Indian culture (the Atman). The phrase "extinguishing itself" (Bujh gaye) refers to Balidan (sacrifice).

Lal Shikha (Crimson Crest/Flame): This represents the heat of revolution. The collocation of "drinking blood/flame" and "spewing fire" is a classic trope in revolutionary Hindi poetry to show how one person's sacrifice inspires an entire generation.

C. Choices, Metre, and Liberties

Rhyme Scheme: I attempted to maintain the A-A-B-B or Refrain-based structure. The repetition of "O Pen, sing their victory today" acts as a rhythmic anchor (similar to the Hindi Kalam, aaj unki jai bol).

Liberties: In English, "oil" sounds unpoetic compared to "Sneh." Therefore, I used "flickered away" to provide a visual rhyme and maintain the mournful yet proud tone.

4. Reflection on Theoretical Frameworks

Roman Jakobson (Equivalence in Difference): Jakobson noted that poetry by definition is untranslatable. To solve this, I used "creative transposition." Since the Hindi meter doesn't map perfectly to English, I transposed the Veer Ras (Heroic Sentiment) by using strong, percussive English words like "Quake," "Spew," and "Storms."

J.C. Catford (Translation Shifts): A Category Shift was necessary for the word "Sneh." Because English lacks a word that means both "oil" and "love," I had to use two words to maintain semantic equivalence, even though it changed the formal structure.

G.N. Devy (Translation as Continuity): Devy suggests that in India, a translation is a "new avatar" of the text. The Gujarati version feels naturally "at home" because it shares the Sanskrit vocabulary (Aginit, Laghudeep, Singhnad, Dharti) with the Hindi original. The transition between these two languages is a "continuity" rather than a "displacement."

A.K. Ramanujan (Context-Sensitivity): Ramanujan emphasized that poems are "maps of a culture." To understand Dinkar, one must understand the Indian Independence movement. The translation keeps this context alive by treating the "Pen" as a sacred instrument of history.

5. Comparison: Gemini vs. ChatGPT

Gemini's Performance: Gemini (in this response) focuses on the rhythmic intensity and the dual meaning of words like Sneh. It prioritizes the "soul" of the poem.

ChatGPT's Performance: ChatGPT often provides a very clean, standard English version that might miss the "raw" revolutionary heat of Dinkar’s specific metaphors (like the earth still "trembling" or "rolling").

Evaluation: Gemini is more effective at handling the emotional "Veer Ras" and the linguistic nuances between Hindi and Gujarati, as it captures the shared etymological roots more effectively.

References:

 Catford, J.C. A Linguistic Theory of Translation. Oxford University Press, 1965.

Barad, Dilip. Guidelines for Using Generative AI in Translation Studies. Dec. 2024, ResearchGate
 
Barad, Dilip. Translation Studies Activity Worksheet: Using Gen AI Tools for Translating Poems. 2025, ResearchGate,

 Devy, Ganesh. "Translation and Literary History: An Indian View." In Postcolonial Translation: Theory and Practice, edited by Susan Bassnett and Harish Trivedi, Taylor & Francis, 1999, pp. 182–188.

Jakobson, Roman. "On Linguistic Aspects of Translation." In On Translation, edited by R.A. Brower, Harvard University Press, 1959, pp. 232–239.

Ramanujan, A.K. "On Translating a Tamil Poem." In The Collected Essays of A. K. Ramanujan, edited by Vinay Dharwadker, Oxford University Press, 2004, pp. 131–160.

 
Yeats, W.B. "The Second Coming." The Collected Poems of W.B. Yeats, Scribner, 1996.










Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Book Review of: Tagore’s Ghare Baire

Novella: Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka

The Curse or Karna by T.P. Kailasama